( The voice ever present in her mind β the one that brings forth the intrusive thoughts that lead her to spiral into paranoid and frantic episodes β tells her that she should stop this madness before it begins. They should stop before they cross the threshold they can never return from.
Sitting there beside him, feeling his fingers travel higher up her leg, her stomach twists and turns in knots as fog settles over her mind, making it harder to grasp onto reason. Harder to will herself to stop this sin they are about to commit.
The words that escape his lips are reassuring and bring her some comfort as she tries to tread carefully upon this path she's never gone down before. To give into desire, the sinful temptation that already has her craving more of his touch. Her hand on his thigh shifts higher, splaying almost teasing as her fingers press into the flesh of his thigh.
Her thumb drags along his lips, her finger curling around the angle of his jaw to tilt his head to make him look at her. )
I know you wouldn't; you've always been so good to me, but are you sure this is what you want? We should stop before it is too late.
( While her words give them an out, to stop this before it goes too far, the way she touches him and looks at him with her brows knit together and lips parted says the opposite, that she might want this just as much as he does. )
[ Despite his blood, this is something else. Something darker than what is excused in the long line of Valyrian tradition. She is not one of them, she is also his mother. But he has also been her confidant, her defender. The one who still sees her when no one else is looking. He knows her sacrifices in that she never takes what she wants.
He knows the look in her eye when she sees something she wants and yet takes no action. To see her suffer in silence, and he has witnessed her suffer so much from all those around her. In the way she speaks to him now strikes similar in those times before. Where she speaks as what is expected of her, and yet her face speaks differently. The hand at his leg speaks differently.
Aemond's breath rattles as she tips his chin upright, looking at her in a way that shows he is spiraling. The press of her fingertips feel hot and jolting. He shifts almost to try and trick her hand closer. To ease his ache. His body tenses, the hand still poised into the blankets grip them tightly as if it is the one hinge left that keeps him from plunging into her. ]
It is too late. The thoughts of you have already spoiled my mind. [ his confession is soft, only meant for the space between them. Sheltered by the grazing of her thumb. Confessing his sins does not come without exposing hers. ] And you came to me in a moment where I try to relieve myself of them and yet did not turn away. They spoil you as well.
[ His hand does not travel further, the curve of her thigh braced between the web of his thumb and forefinger. Grazing and warm, her skin is absolutely soft. ] Perhaps if we purge ourselves of them, they will set us free.
( Sitting beside Aemond with his hand upon her bare thigh, Alicent wonders what has possessed them to act in such a way. To give in to something viewed as an unforgivable sin to the rest of the realm, those who worship the Old Gods and the New, and yet viewed as a tradition with those who have bloodlines connected to Old Valyria. With this tradition β this need β burned into his blood and bones, it is to be expected of him, and yet she does not have such an excuse to allow such dark and twisted desires to consume her.
How long has his mind been spoiled and tainted by thoughts of her? To know that he has allowed such impure thoughts and desires to fester within him should repulse her, much like the thought of these queer customs one had, and yet she cannot find it within herself, and it would be hypocritical as she betrothed two of her children together.
It leaves her to wonder why she has allowed this to happen, to yield instead of condemning him β and also condemning herself β for his boldness and the dark, impure thoughts of her β his mother. For allowing them to fester to the point of needing to relieve himself. Yet, she stumbled upon him and did not turn away; instead, she watched with admiration and the kindling of a desire that should not exist. How long has she harbored such feelings and desires? How long has she buried them deep within herself, hoping they would never resurface?
What is expected of him through a long line of tradition is not the same for her β to harbor such dark desires for her son of all people is unforgivable. For the first time, Alicent finds herself willing to fall to sin with him upon hearing his reverent confession spoken softly against her thumb. )
What if we give in and instead of purging ourselves, it only stokes the fires to burn hotter and brighter β what then?
( Feeling his body shift, desperate for her touch, Alicent allows her fingers to inch further up his thigh, her index finger pressed into the crook of his thigh as she leans closer, thumb dragging off his lips to hold his chin between it and her index finger while the other fingers remained curled around his jaw. )
Are these fleeting urges of a young man, and in time will you come to regret your actions and resent me? ( Closing the distance between their lips, she brushes hers against his as her eyes flutter closed. Her trembling breath dances across his lips as she utters, ) Promise me, Aemond. Promise me that you will not regret this.
[ What then?β He doesn't know and in this moment he doesn't really care. Lust clouds his mind longer than this conversation has lived. The thoughts of her have haunted him since daybreak. How long before then did these feelings exist?
He only knows that she is often the only one that makes him feel seen, safe, wanted. Is it such a sin to want to return that in kind to her? To give everything to her in all the ways he has seen people fail her, seen his father fail her. So many fragments of curiosity whip through his mind in wonder of those parts of her life she does not share with him. How long it has been since she has felt pleasure. If that is something he can provide her as well. Is it still lewd if he is only trying to make her happy?
The weight of him sinks into her hand, beholden to the way she's cupped his jaw. The tease of her fingers slip further, he feels weak enough to almost beg for this. To say anything that might please her to convince her of it. Even though she is already giving herself to him, at the very least a threat to. The guilt in her voice is unbearable, but he doesn't know what he might say to convince her of his want. He is a man grown, she has not forced his hand.
A noise breaks in Aemond's throat, swallowing her breaths as the softness of her lips brush his. One eye fluttering shut, bathed in the warmth of her presence. Moving ever so slightly just to graze and reach a bit further to feel the brush of her. As much as he's allowed.]
I promise, [ his utterance is barely more than a breath. Though it sounds more like a complacent agreement than any true promise of anything. The hand at her thigh curls to the underside and slides back down to pull closer as he in turn moves closer to her. His head tilts to chase her mouth with a breaking patience. If she'll let him.]
( Though complacent agreement instead of the full promise she desires, his words are enough to quell the unease in her stomach and mind as she feels their vibration against her lips. The sensation sends a shiver bolting down her spine and elicits a small whimper through her nose as she presses her lips against his. Her hand shifts from holding his chin to cradling the back of his head, the long threads of his hair entangled between the webbing of her fingers as they splay for better support.
With anxiety and fear beginning to dissipate at his words, no longer a weight within the depths of her stomach, something else begins to take their place β the fires of desire and want, now beginning to burn within her core as he stokes them back to life.
As he grasps at her, fingers sinking into the back of her thigh as he pulls himself closer to her, she wonders when the last time she felt truly desired and wanted was. It feels like a lifetime ago, as she can barely remember it. Even then, those memories cannot hold a candle to the promise of what is to come she feels pouring from him.
The teasing fingers on his leg reward him with their full touch, shifting to shape to the curve of his breeches, pressing and palming against his hardness while her lips move hungrily against his β her tongue daring to steal a taste of him. )
[ When they meet, it feels almost a crush more than a kiss. Aemond inhales sharply through his nose as he pushes forward into her as much as she gives him. Yielding into pull of her hand guided at the back of his head.
In in itself alone feels like a long years wait of release. Of something buried long and deep wrenching out from between his ribs. The kiss alone pales to any other he's been granted, like nothing he'd experienced in the pillow houses he'd been dragged to in years prior. Her want is pure and unfiltered and he finds himself eager to drink it all up.
He feels the deftness of her hand pressing against his hardness and his moan is swallowed up by the reach of her tongue. He twists and pushes himself to seek her mouth with a new roughness, tipping his weight onto a leg to beg himself eagerly into her hand.
She leaves him clambering, uncertain precisely whether he wants her to be on top of him or he her. Only that there needs to be less space, in that he needs every bit of her to envelop him. With him practically already able to feel the deep thrum of her fluttering heartbeat. The hand at her thigh shifts and reaches for her outer leg, leaning himself forward to pull at her. His other hand pushes off the bed to gather her at the shoulder and roll her onto him. ]
( The distance between them is maddening, creating a hollow ache within her, and just as she's about to remedy this, he gathers her into his arms and pulls her onto him.
His actions surprise her, causing a burst of nervousness and excitement to slip from her in the form of a soft, breathy laugh as their kiss breaks and her forehead presses against his. With reluctance, Alicent releases him, freed hands gathering up the surplus of fabric from her skirts so she can settle on his lap before letting the sea of satin pooling around them.
Leaning forward, her knees squeezing against his hips, Alicent presses a trembling hand between them. Warm and flat against his chest, the tips of her fingers trace out every hill and valley of lithe muscle as her hand inches downward. Over his stomach and pausing when her fingers meet the tops of his breeches β gently teasing the gap between them and his skin without venturing further. )
Let me hear how much you want this, ( she murmurs as she presses her cheek against his, lips close to his ear where he can feel her excited breathing slipping through her parted lips while her other hand threads through his hair once more. Tightening around the pale, blond strands, she tips his head back to look down at him. )
[ Through a burst of command at the pulling of his fingers recoils as she settles on top of him. Her laugh brings a light curl to his lips that tells him what he did was okay, it was not unwelcome. His hands retreat from her as she settles, slipping both of them alongside her thighs before they are swallowed by the weight of her dress over them. Hot skin under his palms with the coolness of the fabric rested over top of them.
The weight of his head follows hers, the rhythms of their breaths crashing and overlapping. As her hand travels lower, his own hands turn over the tops of her thighs. His thumbs traveling back up along her inner thigh. A breath sucks in as she grips his hair. Unwittingly, he pulls himself towards it, sloped chin rising even higher. ]
I want you, mother. [ He corrects. May the seven help him, does it make him harder to call her that with her like this. Looking down at him all manner where she should be anything but. His grip along her thighs tighten, as if he may pull her down deeper into the seat of his lap. ] I will take any part of you that you'll give me.
[ He pulls forward in slight, almost as if he is trying to chase her mouth, only to find that he cannot. Breath rattling in some quiet amusement at that. One hand parts from its mirroring grip to delve between her legs. Where her hand teases to touch, he does not. Finding her slick and warm under the drag of two fingertips. ] Your touch, your taste, your pleasure. [ He adds one with every gentle coaxing. Blue eye eagerly trying to drink up what she might give him in return for it.] I want to hear you speak my name like a prayer.
( As the second son to the King of the Seven Kingdoms, Aemond could have any woman within the realm that he desires as his wife or paramour, so why β why does he want and desire her so?
To hear him correct her and reaffirm his want for her β his mother β and not just the pleasures and release she can give brings everything around her to a standstill as she looks down at him. She has always been thankful that he doesn't share the same carnal appetites as his brother, and on occasion, she wondered what made her son tick. Never would she have imagined they were carnal in a darker way that goes beyond what is tradition for his ancestral Targaryen blood.
If she had known sooner, would she have acted differently? Perhaps she could have sent him away to Oldtown instead of Daeron to serve as a cupbearer and squire for her cousin or matched him with one of the simple-minded young women of the court or a Northern house to help strengthen their ties.
No, she wouldn't have wanted things to change, even if she had down. It would have been a shock, nothing that she would have acted on, but she knows without him, her life within the walls of the Red Keep would have been unbearable. For so long, it feels as though he has been the only one to see her and the strife she ensures. He always makes an effort to do whatever is within his power to make her happy, which is what this is β another way for him to bring her happiness. To show her that she's wanted, needed, and loved in a way that no one else can; something that can only be shared between them.
The warmth of his hands feels like fire atop the skin, thumbs grazing over the inner part of her thighs, causing her to suck in a sharp breath, and the mask she tries to wear almost breaks as she looks down at him still β straightening her back to move her face further away from him, even though he cannot reach her with her fingers right around his hair to keep him anchored.
It all comes tumbling down when his hand leaves her thigh, and his fingers drag against her. Alicent hisses, ) Aemond.
( While it might not be a prayer, it is enough to hear and see his mother fracturing before him β the poised, polished, pious woman of faith no longer there, and all that is left is a woman who has needed someone to want and need her for so long. She whimpers as his fingers sink into her warmth, one after the other. Her grip tightens on her hair as her hips roll forward, desperate for more of his touch. )
I cannot remember the last time anyone made me feel this way, ( she admits, and by anyone, she means his father, as she has been a faithful and dutiful wife up until now.
No longer wanting to tease him, the fingers on his stomach lift, moving down to pluck at the fastenings of his breeches and pulling his waistband to the side to open them wider. Her hand finds his stomach again, but she does not hesitate this time. Deft fingers wrapped around the girth of him, stroking upward to free him before sliding her fingers back down to the base of the shaft. )
[ It is dark and depraved. May the shame take him later when his skin is cold and they have parted. For now, it is simple to give into the heat of it. This one thing for himself. May she change her mind come morning and never look at him the same. Marry him off to the weakest allied house they held in the Seven Kingdoms to fulfil his duties as her son. He would not blame her, but now he knows in the ways he might miss her if she did.
Hearing his name on her lips, the way she eagerly grinds down against his hand. As much as it is sinful she is beautiful when she does it. It feels gifted when she admits to him how its made her feel. Therein lies a deeper knowledge that her bed had been cold and neglectful. Another soured notion for abandonment that should neither disappoint or surprise him.
For as much as he has given her, it too grants him some worthiness he'd felt lacking. Rolling with the eager motion of her body down to the tight grip in his hair draws a sharp breath through his teeth. Lips curling into a small smile, bridled with pride.
A smile that bristles as her hand closes around him, releasing him from the tightness plaguing his breeches. Aemond bites down on his own lip as his chin tips down. The weight of her shifting around in his lap as he steadies his other hand along her thigh to keep her anchored. Resisting the urge to buck up into her hand. As her fingers lift up the length of him, she almost feels as though she's lifting away out of his reach. A dry noise dies in the back of his throat as he tips his chin up towards her again.]
You deserve to feel this way. [ He utters quiet and slow, wetting his lips as he grapples his breath. Cupping his hand underneath her to grind his palm upward. Fingers coaxing. Only vaguely able to recall the tenants of what brings a woman pleasure. He relies mostly on the cant of her hips and where the nerves flare up to the flutter in her eyes when he hits it just right.
His mouth is dry and wanting. And while there is something frustratingly enrapturing about the way she keeps him just out of reach. He can't help but ask this time.] Please.
( With an ailing husband whose health continues to deteriorate as time passes, it is no secret or surprise that Alicent's bed has been cold for far too long. It has only added to the suffocating loneliness she ensured, leaving her wanting and needing, yet never seeking out that fulfillment out of duty and obligation to her husband, the king.
A pious woman, Alicent thought she was strong in her faith, that her devotion and sense of duty would be enough to keep her satisfied and resist the need for things such as affection or pleasure. She swore her faith could sustain her. That she was above temptation, but it was her strength and greatest weakness that made her crumble.
Together, they've crossed a boundary they should never cross, and she knows there is no going back and that she will never be able to look at him the same way again. The image of him beneath her will forever be burned into her mind β the sight of his mouth parted and wanting, the way his eye scans over her face with devotion, desire, and a need that she has never seen in another. He has seized her in many ways, being her strength and confidant for so long, only to entwine them together further in such a dark and twisted way that she knows she can never escape.
Though he vaguely remembers, his fingers continue to coax. Alicent's head tips back as her eyes flutter closed, and a breath of a moan escapes her lips when they pass over nerves or his palm rubs against her just right. She continues to move her hips, helping to guide his hand β to teach and show him how to bring her the most pleasure. )
It's because of you I feel this way. ( Tipping her head forward, Alicent looks down upon him once more; that pleading look upon his features accompanied by please steals her breath away, causing it to hitch in her throat. Her fingers tighten around him, squeezing when they reach the base and molding around the head once they slip up the length once more β coating her fingers with slick precum that helps her match the rhythm of her hand with her hips. ) You're doing so well.
( Having left him wanting long enough, she rewards him by leaning forward, their lips colliding once more β hard and rough and desperate enough that her lips might be bruised come supper, but at the moment, she does not care. )
[ It's her presence he realizes fills that aching void. It gives purpose behind the pleasure that once felt like absent release. Stroking himself to find a means to an end so that the day could be gone about. She makes it so much more. Even just the rhythmic workings of her hand, treating him with praise and tenderness with each stroke and squeeze, build him up faster than he could have ever achieved on his own.
It's hot and searing so much as he feels as though she might lift him out of bed with every pull. Her breathy words echoing within him long after they're swallowed up by the kiss. He returns it in kind, hard and crushing, noise trapped in his throat as he savors every moment of it. Carving out the taste of her with his tongue as the rush of auburn curls tickle the sides of his face.
The rhythm comes easy, molding his movement with her hips. An ebb and flow building between them that doesn't require too much focus as it begins to carry off on its own. Spiraling into their mutual want. The hand gripping and plying into the flesh of her thigh drags back in favor of wrapping around her waist. Holding her steady, hand splayed to reinforce her with every grind of her hips. His fingers beckoning beneath her continue at the pace she sets. Though it might beg to go faster, the pleasure mounting feels a tremendous weight looming over.
It's a simple tell when she's taken him close. Crossing a new threshold that feels it might kill him if she stops now. From the shift of his weight into the bed and the grip on her back. Lifting up into her as much as he is trying to drag himself back down. His breath searing in and out of his nose. The world around him feels impossibly tight as it all comes coiling into himself.]
( With each stroke and thrust of his fingers, he coaxes her closer and closer to the summit of pleasure. The feeling is overwhelming, flooding all of her senses to the point she isn't sure which way she's being pulled, and the tight thread holding her together might snap at any moment.
The burning fire within the depths of her stomach threatens to become an inferno and consume her as he strokes it with his own fire β the one surging through his veins, making his touch leave a blazing trail across her skin as he grips her hip to anchor her in place. Every nerve within her body is set off with each beckoning of his fingers, causing the muscles in her legs to tremble as she fights to remain on her knees as she straddles him, and she spasms against his fingers, fighting with each deep thrust.
Upon breaking the kiss, she gasps for air, the coolness of it burning as it fills her deprived lungs. Leaning forward, she rests her head against his shoulder, her forehead nestled into the crook of his neck. Her hand shifts to hold onto him, splaying across his back and shoulders as she grips him tight, fingers pressing into his skin. )
Aemond, please, ( she begs as she uses that space between them to dampen and keep it from carrying.
Within her hand, she can feel the heat and pulse of him as he gets closer to release, and she doesn't relent β wanting to push him over the edge so they can spill over into pleasure together. She strokes him faster, tightening her grip around him, letting her fingers drag along the sensitive underside before sliding down again. )
Please, ( pleading and desperation in her voice. Panting and trembling as she grips onto shoulder tighter, fighting the urge to moan as it builds within her throat, but with that one last press of his fingers, she's lost β moaning against his neck as her knees squeeze against his hips, body trembling and wracked with pleasure, her walls tight around his fingers as he rides the waves of pleasure with each jerk of her hips. )
[ Every part of her writhes desperately and it encloses in all around him. Aemond can feel her, inside and out, pulling at him. It takes the last shreds of conscious reason he has to keep the rhythm from derailing the heavy momentum. Bed scraping and creaking echo in the chamber under hastening breaths and muffling moans. For all theyβve allowed to spiral and burn around them, this is still a moment wrapped and tethered under the press of a forbidden secret.
The delinquency of it somehow making it taste fuller, and richer on the tongue. This is what their gods have warned them about.
She writhes on top of him, and he feels the sear of regret for not being able to feel more of it. To have more than just a couple of fingers inside of her as oblivion pulls her. Her whispered begging drags him down with her if not by the long deliberate tugging of her hand.
Aemondβs body rolls with her, dragged back and forth with each undulation of her climax. Breath choked in his throat as he tenses underneath her. He comes hard, spilling and milked under her hand. His face dug into her shoulder, mouth pressed to strangle the noise she draws out from the belly of him. His teeth grazing her skin, but not yet biting.
Once sheβs stopped twitching and tumbling over his hand, it moves to rest at the top of her thigh. The tips of his fingers curling and soothing as the cool of the afternoon air begins to brush against this back. Euphoria is there, clouded satisfaction for something that felt so mounted and lingering. Not knowing it had needed release. His head turns, the top of his forehead finding the curve of her neck. A position not unlike one he has found with her before when heβd once been little. Feeling at peace, for once. For now. ]
( The burden of the secret they now carry and share is a heavy one β one that could be their undoing or worse if anyone were to uncover what they have done. This secret will become something for them to safeguard and ensure that nothing happens to either of them. Of everyone within the realm, even before allowing herself to commit this sin with him, she trusts him the most. She knows the lengths he will go to protect and defend her, unlike some who falter and fall short when she needs them the most.
As he tenses beneath her, she feels the warmth of him spilling into her hand as he buries his face against her neck, trying to choke the sound of pleasure that wishes to escape him. There is a pang of regret that lances through her, acknowledging the waste of royal seed, and despite how unfulfilling it was, she misses the feeling of how full she felt having someone within her.
It is better this way, she knows, but she still lingers on the thought. The temptation and how forbidden such things are.
The sensation of his teeth against her skin is alarming, making her already pounding heart skyrocket and pound against her rib cage for fear of what masks he might leave, but she relaxes when they do not come.
After a few last idle strokes, she releases him, letting her hand fall palm up onto her thigh to keep the mess contained and off her dress, as she'll need to keep wearing it for the rest of the evening. Feeling the weight of his head against her neck and shoulder brings her comfort, a feeling she has greatly missed over the years.
With her free hand, she pulls him close; their chests flush as she rests fully in the seat of his lap as she nuzzles her cheek against the top of his head. A content sound escaping through her nose. )
You should ready for supper. We can discuss you escorting me to Oldtown to visit your brother and my cousin.
( The thought of them alone, away from the Red Keep and Kingslanding, weighs more heavily than it had earlier when they were breaking fast. It makes her stomach twist with nerves again as uncertainty begins settling in, threatening to snuff out euphoria, though she feels she already broke that spell the moment she mentioned supper and Oldtown but she's never lingered long after such an intimate encounter that she wasn't sure what to do or say. )
[ For however long a moment it actually is, Aemond remains completely relaxed against her. Heat cooling, yet not completely lifting the veil that protects him from acknowledging fully the weight of their depravity. Instead listening to the slowing of her heart and breath. Her same contentedness.
Until she speaks, and he has to piece together the context of which she was speaking. Daeron and Oldtown. That was what heβd agreed to hastily at their morning meal. Both worlds seem to converge again, from the one they lived to this moment now fading between them. Aemond opens his eye, sobering.]
Of course, mother. [ His agreement is dutiful, without protest. No sign of any disappointment that he cannot remain like this for longer. No sign of the implications of what he had agreed to might affect him now.
The young prince pulls himself back from her. Briefly swept by the temptation to kiss her again, but letβs it pass as he leans back. The hand underneath her skirt retreats to let her go, both depositing on the bed to rest his weight into both of them. Looking down at himself briefly before taking one final breath. Time to forge on.] Iβll only need a moment.
( The lack of genuine intimacy in her life, accompanied by years of leaving immediately after such encounters, Alicent isn't sure how to react. Thus, falling back into the schooled and proper demeanor that she always displays. However, it doesn't take away from the fact that she would wish to remain longer if it weren't for duties or the constant eyes looking for her. Wrapped in the warm haze of blissfulness and his body's closeness to hers, she has already spent far too much time here.
As he pulls away from her, she fights the urge to pull him back into her. The conflicting emotions are apparent in the way her brows knit together, and she bites on the inside of her bottom lip.
For a brief moment, she lingers, looking down at him β gaze traveling down his form before pulling away and standing. She walks over to the ewer and basin to wash her hands. Once dry, she smooths her hands down the skirts of her stress, putting them back into place before attempting to fix her hair; she glances over her shoulder at him before heading to the door.
Her fingers wrap around the knob, not pulling it open as her mouth opens and closes several times, fighting as she tries to find what words she wants to say, but when nothing comes out, she leaves. Closing the door behind her, her steps fading into the distance towards her chambers, she anxiously waits for time to pass until supper rolls around. She is the first to arrive in the hall wearing the same dress from earlier, though looking refreshed, and takes her usual seat, wondering who β besides her father β will join her. )
[ Once the door is finally closed behind her, Aemond drops back onto the bed. A long sigh deflating his chest. Tension easing once more now that her absence is clear.
The young prince has not had enough of these encounters to really understand how things are meant to go. He only had the experience of pillow houses, which he stopped attending long before. At some point when Aegon gave up goading him over itβ another poor example to ply experience from. For things to simply end and carry on would seem the way of things. And yet he is left cold and wanting.
It would seem his sins were not purged. As he lies waiting for dinner, replaying those last moments. Trying to discern his motherβs expression before she left. Uncertain, speechless. Hard cut to just moments before under the whisper of his name on his lips as she was crumbling. The bliss it brought fed on his thoughts in his absence. He wonders if it would feed on hers as well.
Aemond is not late for dinner, but he does express every little ounce of time left leading up before he finally gets up to wash and change into a clean pair of breeches.
Though he is not explicitly expected, he does arrive. Having encountered his grandfather in the hall upon his approach. Though Otto offers his usual soft greeting, Aemond canβt help but feel like one if Helaenaβs bugs squirming under her watchful eye. He allows the hand to enter first, hands neatly tucking behind his back as he follows after. Only sparing his mother a passing glance as he joins his usual seat at the table.]
( The young prince was not alone with his thoughts as they also plagued his mother. Leaving her listless, pacing the confines of her chamber β the memory of his touch seared into her mind, feeling his phantom touch upon her skin, leaving her equally wanting.
More thoughts to torment her restless and wakeful hours when sleep eludes her. Often leaving her to her thoughts and desperate prayers β no matter how hard she prays to the gods, she knows she will not find absolution for the sins she committed with him. But, in these hours when she is needed to be present, Alicent knows she must endure to push them to the back of her mind, but they continue to slither to the forefront. Leaving her with a need she has never experienced before as she has never wanted in such a way.
Upon hearing the door open, the queen glances up to meet her father's gaze, to whom she nods. His stature shielded the view of her son behind him until they take their separate paths to seat themselves at the table.
Seeing him again so soon after giving in to their sinful desires brings the vividness of those memories slamming into the forefront of her mind once more. His lips upon hers. The burning of his touch. The feeling of his throbbing wants in her hand. All of it there, leaving her mouth dry as she watches him with a soft flush to her cheeks as she swallows down the lump that has formed in her throat.
She catches his passing glance, offering a small, gentle smile with an upturn to the corners of her lips, but he's looked away before it manages to form on them as she is slower to smile these days, and it immediately falters. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she chews on it as she slides her hands beneath the table, rubbing the nail of one thumb against the other as she forces herself to look around. )
We should give Aegon and Helaena a few minutes to see if they will join us.
( Turning to the hand, ) Do you know if β
His Grace is still unwell and will be taking supper in his chambers.
( She nods, turning to sit properly in her chair to steal another glance at Aemond. )
[ In exchange of stolen glances, Aemond looks up at his mother when she addresses the Hand. The warm candle light to hide any flush in her face, he would mark her behavior as antsy. Clearly not entirely shielded from the afternoonβs events.
A serving girl appears at his shoulder to fill his cup, drawing his attention away when her attention falls back to him. His head is not down as it was when they broke fast. Lips pressed together in a fine line to stifle an unsurprised grunt at the news that the King would not join them. Itβs more of a blessing tonight if all nights.
Aemond drinks from his cup, using it as a means to look over. Only this time he does catch his motherβs eye. Unsure exactly what to do, he holds it for what feels an impossibly long moment. Nearly draining his cup in the process. What is she thinking?
The doors jostle open as Aegon is announced through shortly followed by Helaena. The Hand makes a noise of delighted surprise that they have been graced by a nearly full table this evening.
By the jaunt in his elder brotherβs step, he has already had a fill of wine before taking seat at the table. Aemond grimaces as he swallows, setting his cup down to be immediately refilled. Back stiff as the last of trays are set at the table.]
Drinking well tonight, Brother? [ Aegon remarks across the table as Aemond lifts his second cup of wine. Annoyed as he takes a more meager sip before putting the filled cup back down. He only needs to make it through whatβ¦an hour?]
( The King not joining them is a blessing that she is thankful for and will thank the Gods for once she is in the silent sanctuary of her chambers. It feels selfish and wrong to thank them for such a thing, but after her adulterous and sinful act with Aemond, Alicent fears she will be crushed under the weight of guilt from seeing her husband.
There should be more guilt and the need for penance, but as her gaze remains locked with Aemond's, she finds herself unable to feel complete remorse for her actions or regret for him touching and sullying her.
Bringing her own glass to her lips, a gentle smile forms behind it before she takes a long pull from it. It is enough to bring a light to her eyes, making the corners of them crinkle with a delight and life that has been absent from her features for so long.
The press of the glass to her lips touches against a tender spot that has bruised from their lips hard and desperate against the others. As she sets the glass down, she brings a hand to her lips, softly tracing out the spot with the tip of a finger β all while her eyes remain on him.
That is until Aemond and Helaena are announced when the door thuds open, making Alicent's head swing towards it in a flurry of auburn curls, and her hand immediately drops from her lips to offer them both a delighted greeting of her own.
After the prayer and the food beings being passed, Alicent speaks up, )
Aemond has agreed to accompany me to Oldtown to visit your brother, Daeron, and my uncle, Ormund. It would be good if you could join us, Helaena, but I understand that the restless age that makes traveling difficult.
( Helaena nods. ) I agree, though it would be wise to take them on tour when they are older.
When the King cannot attend and in my absence, your grandfather will head the small council meetings in my stead. I believe it wise if you attend them, Aegon, to better understand how they are run and conducted.
It is a moons travel by carriage to Oldtown; therefore, we should be gone no more than three.
[ Aemondβs steely mood is easy to overlook. He only engages in table conversation when it suits. Cutting into roast and plucking currants into his mouth. Occasionally following the table side conversation with a careful glance each way. Seemingly focused, if not a little more tense than normal. Secretly finding it absolutely ridiculous that merely looking in his motherβs direction whenever she touches her lips could send his thoughts into a tailspin.
And then there is Aegon, a sobering thing to look at in the moment. Looking absolutely miserable to agree to the terms of the queenβs absence. If there is nothing he hates more than trying to perform any semblance of duty. Aemondβs lips purse in annoyance, for he would have leapt at such an opportunity.
Not that the alternative seems incredibly horrible otherwise. On the contraryβ
Aemondβs head whips back to look at his mother. Three moons? Alone with her. After this?]
That is more time spent in a carriage than enjoying the destination, is it not? [ He speaks at last, turning idly the olive not yet eaten but trapped between his fingers. He speaks only to call out the redundancy that would seem obvious. Unless thatβs what she wants. All that time alone with him. Looking at her as though trying to dissect the answer from her expression alone.]
It is, but it is the fastest way β ( for her as she is no dragon rider and would never dream of attempting to ride pillion on one of those beasts. So her thoughts go to the only methods of transportation that she has ever used; by carriage and by sea.
Distracted by his thoughts and having excused himself, Aemond was not privy to the conversation Alicent had with Otto in discussing the trip to Oldtown. A discussion that happened before β well, everything that has transpired since breakfast.
It would look strange to go back on it now, especially since she told her father she would talk with her son about it during supper. There is still time to change plans, but they need to keep up appearances to not draw suspicion toward them. )
If being away for such an extended time is of concern, someone else could escort me if you prefer.
( Is there a challenge in her voice and the way her brow raises before her gaze drops to her plate, cutting off a piece of baked pear, dipping it in sugar and butter glaze before bringing it to her mouth with her fork and looking at him again? Almost questioning. Or is she giving him a way out, so he doesn't have to be trapped with her for three moons? )
[ It is not the fastest way. Aemond continues to fiddle with the olive in his hand. He could not propose it now. Even though it would be obvious of him to. Preferable to riding dragon back than in a carriage. Though Aemond would take any excuse to be in the sky. Feel the power of a dragon aloft between his legs.
To take her, however, sounds unquestionable. For something she never took an interest in. To be clinging to his back for hours on end. Wind whipping through her hair. A few days journey at most. Far less than a moonβs but potentially twice as harrowing a journey for a queen who never ridden. Carriage would seem to be the only way.
A best passes where he holds his motherβs gaze. Finally popping the olive in his mouth while he contemplates her meaning. It would be unsporting of him to say no either way. He has no duties to uphold here other than his own interests. There would be nothing to expect of him than to accompany the Queen should she so choose. ]
No. There is no issue from me. [ Aemond answers at last, shuffling in his chair as he washes his mouth with wine. Not sounding entirely pleased or displeased, pushing through the conversation as a means to an end of them. So that his mind may remain swirling. To think be alone in her company for that long. ]
Are we to arrive for Daeronβs nameday, then? [ He asks, belatedly now putting more to the conversation he might have missed in the morning. It would mean the time left before they would need to leave. Which to say, for a moonβs journey, does not leave for much time.
( Of all the things to keep his idle hands busy, he has to fixate on that bloody olive. It's enough to have her own thoughts briefly spiraling β back pressed firmly against his chest, the feeling of his hand cupping her breast while his other travels gown her stomach β gods be good. The last thing she needs is to be plagued by these thoughts at supper, with her family, of all places.
Bringing her glass to her lips, Alicent takes a long pull, nearly draining the cup before putting it down. Thankful that he's no longer toying with his food and hoping her thoughts will cease from venturing when they were. )
It is settled then; Aemond will join me in traveling to Oldtown.
( What would they do with that time alone, being forced in the close confines of a carriage for a moon? Would they pretend that nothing had happened? Ignore one another or engage in polite conversation while ignoring the mammoth in the room, or try to take advantage of the opportunity given to them?
Just the thought of such an opportunity, of being alone ( or as alone as they can be ) with little to no interruption for that long, leaves her distractingly aching once more. )
Yes, we would be arriving in time for his name day. There is enough time to prepare and get your affairs in order before our departure.
( She isn't sure how much preparation her father has made, but it sounded like this morning was the birth of the plans, so ravens still need to be exchanged and preparations on each side made. )
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Sitting there beside him, feeling his fingers travel higher up her leg, her stomach twists and turns in knots as fog settles over her mind, making it harder to grasp onto reason. Harder to will herself to stop this sin they are about to commit.
The words that escape his lips are reassuring and bring her some comfort as she tries to tread carefully upon this path she's never gone down before. To give into desire, the sinful temptation that already has her craving more of his touch. Her hand on his thigh shifts higher, splaying almost teasing as her fingers press into the flesh of his thigh.
Her thumb drags along his lips, her finger curling around the angle of his jaw to tilt his head to make him look at her. )
I know you wouldn't; you've always been so good to me, but are you sure this is what you want? We should stop before it is too late.
( While her words give them an out, to stop this before it goes too far, the way she touches him and looks at him with her brows knit together and lips parted says the opposite, that she might want this just as much as he does. )
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He knows the look in her eye when she sees something she wants and yet takes no action. To see her suffer in silence, and he has witnessed her suffer so much from all those around her. In the way she speaks to him now strikes similar in those times before. Where she speaks as what is expected of her, and yet her face speaks differently. The hand at his leg speaks differently.
Aemond's breath rattles as she tips his chin upright, looking at her in a way that shows he is spiraling. The press of her fingertips feel hot and jolting. He shifts almost to try and trick her hand closer. To ease his ache. His body tenses, the hand still poised into the blankets grip them tightly as if it is the one hinge left that keeps him from plunging into her. ]
It is too late. The thoughts of you have already spoiled my mind. [ his confession is soft, only meant for the space between them. Sheltered by the grazing of her thumb. Confessing his sins does not come without exposing hers. ] And you came to me in a moment where I try to relieve myself of them and yet did not turn away. They spoil you as well.
[ His hand does not travel further, the curve of her thigh braced between the web of his thumb and forefinger. Grazing and warm, her skin is absolutely soft. ] Perhaps if we purge ourselves of them, they will set us free.
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How long has his mind been spoiled and tainted by thoughts of her? To know that he has allowed such impure thoughts and desires to fester within him should repulse her, much like the thought of these queer customs one had, and yet she cannot find it within herself, and it would be hypocritical as she betrothed two of her children together.
It leaves her to wonder why she has allowed this to happen, to yield instead of condemning him β and also condemning herself β for his boldness and the dark, impure thoughts of her β his mother. For allowing them to fester to the point of needing to relieve himself. Yet, she stumbled upon him and did not turn away; instead, she watched with admiration and the kindling of a desire that should not exist. How long has she harbored such feelings and desires? How long has she buried them deep within herself, hoping they would never resurface?
What is expected of him through a long line of tradition is not the same for her β to harbor such dark desires for her son of all people is unforgivable. For the first time, Alicent finds herself willing to fall to sin with him upon hearing his reverent confession spoken softly against her thumb. )
What if we give in and instead of purging ourselves, it only stokes the fires to burn hotter and brighter β what then?
( Feeling his body shift, desperate for her touch, Alicent allows her fingers to inch further up his thigh, her index finger pressed into the crook of his thigh as she leans closer, thumb dragging off his lips to hold his chin between it and her index finger while the other fingers remained curled around his jaw. )
Are these fleeting urges of a young man, and in time will you come to regret your actions and resent me? ( Closing the distance between their lips, she brushes hers against his as her eyes flutter closed. Her trembling breath dances across his lips as she utters, ) Promise me, Aemond. Promise me that you will not regret this.
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He only knows that she is often the only one that makes him feel seen, safe, wanted. Is it such a sin to want to return that in kind to her? To give everything to her in all the ways he has seen people fail her, seen his father fail her. So many fragments of curiosity whip through his mind in wonder of those parts of her life she does not share with him. How long it has been since she has felt pleasure. If that is something he can provide her as well. Is it still lewd if he is only trying to make her happy?
The weight of him sinks into her hand, beholden to the way she's cupped his jaw. The tease of her fingers slip further, he feels weak enough to almost beg for this. To say anything that might please her to convince her of it. Even though she is already giving herself to him, at the very least a threat to. The guilt in her voice is unbearable, but he doesn't know what he might say to convince her of his want. He is a man grown, she has not forced his hand.
A noise breaks in Aemond's throat, swallowing her breaths as the softness of her lips brush his. One eye fluttering shut, bathed in the warmth of her presence. Moving ever so slightly just to graze and reach a bit further to feel the brush of her. As much as he's allowed.]
I promise, [ his utterance is barely more than a breath. Though it sounds more like a complacent agreement than any true promise of anything. The hand at her thigh curls to the underside and slides back down to pull closer as he in turn moves closer to her. His head tilts to chase her mouth with a breaking patience. If she'll let him.]
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With anxiety and fear beginning to dissipate at his words, no longer a weight within the depths of her stomach, something else begins to take their place β the fires of desire and want, now beginning to burn within her core as he stokes them back to life.
As he grasps at her, fingers sinking into the back of her thigh as he pulls himself closer to her, she wonders when the last time she felt truly desired and wanted was. It feels like a lifetime ago, as she can barely remember it. Even then, those memories cannot hold a candle to the promise of what is to come she feels pouring from him.
The teasing fingers on his leg reward him with their full touch, shifting to shape to the curve of his breeches, pressing and palming against his hardness while her lips move hungrily against his β her tongue daring to steal a taste of him. )
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In in itself alone feels like a long years wait of release. Of something buried long and deep wrenching out from between his ribs. The kiss alone pales to any other he's been granted, like nothing he'd experienced in the pillow houses he'd been dragged to in years prior. Her want is pure and unfiltered and he finds himself eager to drink it all up.
He feels the deftness of her hand pressing against his hardness and his moan is swallowed up by the reach of her tongue. He twists and pushes himself to seek her mouth with a new roughness, tipping his weight onto a leg to beg himself eagerly into her hand.
She leaves him clambering, uncertain precisely whether he wants her to be on top of him or he her. Only that there needs to be less space, in that he needs every bit of her to envelop him. With him practically already able to feel the deep thrum of her fluttering heartbeat. The hand at her thigh shifts and reaches for her outer leg, leaning himself forward to pull at her. His other hand pushes off the bed to gather her at the shoulder and roll her onto him. ]
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His actions surprise her, causing a burst of nervousness and excitement to slip from her in the form of a soft, breathy laugh as their kiss breaks and her forehead presses against his. With reluctance, Alicent releases him, freed hands gathering up the surplus of fabric from her skirts so she can settle on his lap before letting the sea of satin pooling around them.
Leaning forward, her knees squeezing against his hips, Alicent presses a trembling hand between them. Warm and flat against his chest, the tips of her fingers trace out every hill and valley of lithe muscle as her hand inches downward. Over his stomach and pausing when her fingers meet the tops of his breeches β gently teasing the gap between them and his skin without venturing further. )
Let me hear how much you want this, ( she murmurs as she presses her cheek against his, lips close to his ear where he can feel her excited breathing slipping through her parted lips while her other hand threads through his hair once more. Tightening around the pale, blond strands, she tips his head back to look down at him. )
Tell me.
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The weight of his head follows hers, the rhythms of their breaths crashing and overlapping. As her hand travels lower, his own hands turn over the tops of her thighs. His thumbs traveling back up along her inner thigh. A breath sucks in as she grips his hair. Unwittingly, he pulls himself towards it, sloped chin rising even higher. ]
I want you, mother. [ He corrects. May the seven help him, does it make him harder to call her that with her like this. Looking down at him all manner where she should be anything but. His grip along her thighs tighten, as if he may pull her down deeper into the seat of his lap. ] I will take any part of you that you'll give me.
[ He pulls forward in slight, almost as if he is trying to chase her mouth, only to find that he cannot. Breath rattling in some quiet amusement at that. One hand parts from its mirroring grip to delve between her legs. Where her hand teases to touch, he does not. Finding her slick and warm under the drag of two fingertips. ] Your touch, your taste, your pleasure. [ He adds one with every gentle coaxing. Blue eye eagerly trying to drink up what she might give him in return for it.] I want to hear you speak my name like a prayer.
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To hear him correct her and reaffirm his want for her β his mother β and not just the pleasures and release she can give brings everything around her to a standstill as she looks down at him. She has always been thankful that he doesn't share the same carnal appetites as his brother, and on occasion, she wondered what made her son tick. Never would she have imagined they were carnal in a darker way that goes beyond what is tradition for his ancestral Targaryen blood.
If she had known sooner, would she have acted differently? Perhaps she could have sent him away to Oldtown instead of Daeron to serve as a cupbearer and squire for her cousin or matched him with one of the simple-minded young women of the court or a Northern house to help strengthen their ties.
No, she wouldn't have wanted things to change, even if she had down. It would have been a shock, nothing that she would have acted on, but she knows without him, her life within the walls of the Red Keep would have been unbearable. For so long, it feels as though he has been the only one to see her and the strife she ensures. He always makes an effort to do whatever is within his power to make her happy, which is what this is β another way for him to bring her happiness. To show her that she's wanted, needed, and loved in a way that no one else can; something that can only be shared between them.
The warmth of his hands feels like fire atop the skin, thumbs grazing over the inner part of her thighs, causing her to suck in a sharp breath, and the mask she tries to wear almost breaks as she looks down at him still β straightening her back to move her face further away from him, even though he cannot reach her with her fingers right around his hair to keep him anchored.
It all comes tumbling down when his hand leaves her thigh, and his fingers drag against her. Alicent hisses, ) Aemond.
( While it might not be a prayer, it is enough to hear and see his mother fracturing before him β the poised, polished, pious woman of faith no longer there, and all that is left is a woman who has needed someone to want and need her for so long. She whimpers as his fingers sink into her warmth, one after the other. Her grip tightens on her hair as her hips roll forward, desperate for more of his touch. )
I cannot remember the last time anyone made me feel this way, ( she admits, and by anyone, she means his father, as she has been a faithful and dutiful wife up until now.
No longer wanting to tease him, the fingers on his stomach lift, moving down to pluck at the fastenings of his breeches and pulling his waistband to the side to open them wider. Her hand finds his stomach again, but she does not hesitate this time. Deft fingers wrapped around the girth of him, stroking upward to free him before sliding her fingers back down to the base of the shaft. )
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Hearing his name on her lips, the way she eagerly grinds down against his hand. As much as it is sinful she is beautiful when she does it. It feels gifted when she admits to him how its made her feel. Therein lies a deeper knowledge that her bed had been cold and neglectful. Another soured notion for abandonment that should neither disappoint or surprise him.
For as much as he has given her, it too grants him some worthiness he'd felt lacking. Rolling with the eager motion of her body down to the tight grip in his hair draws a sharp breath through his teeth. Lips curling into a small smile, bridled with pride.
A smile that bristles as her hand closes around him, releasing him from the tightness plaguing his breeches. Aemond bites down on his own lip as his chin tips down. The weight of her shifting around in his lap as he steadies his other hand along her thigh to keep her anchored. Resisting the urge to buck up into her hand. As her fingers lift up the length of him, she almost feels as though she's lifting away out of his reach. A dry noise dies in the back of his throat as he tips his chin up towards her again.]
You deserve to feel this way. [ He utters quiet and slow, wetting his lips as he grapples his breath. Cupping his hand underneath her to grind his palm upward. Fingers coaxing. Only vaguely able to recall the tenants of what brings a woman pleasure. He relies mostly on the cant of her hips and where the nerves flare up to the flutter in her eyes when he hits it just right.
His mouth is dry and wanting. And while there is something frustratingly enrapturing about the way she keeps him just out of reach. He can't help but ask this time.] Please.
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A pious woman, Alicent thought she was strong in her faith, that her devotion and sense of duty would be enough to keep her satisfied and resist the need for things such as affection or pleasure. She swore her faith could sustain her. That she was above temptation, but it was her strength and greatest weakness that made her crumble.
Together, they've crossed a boundary they should never cross, and she knows there is no going back and that she will never be able to look at him the same way again. The image of him beneath her will forever be burned into her mind β the sight of his mouth parted and wanting, the way his eye scans over her face with devotion, desire, and a need that she has never seen in another. He has seized her in many ways, being her strength and confidant for so long, only to entwine them together further in such a dark and twisted way that she knows she can never escape.
Though he vaguely remembers, his fingers continue to coax. Alicent's head tips back as her eyes flutter closed, and a breath of a moan escapes her lips when they pass over nerves or his palm rubs against her just right. She continues to move her hips, helping to guide his hand β to teach and show him how to bring her the most pleasure. )
It's because of you I feel this way. ( Tipping her head forward, Alicent looks down upon him once more; that pleading look upon his features accompanied by please steals her breath away, causing it to hitch in her throat. Her fingers tighten around him, squeezing when they reach the base and molding around the head once they slip up the length once more β coating her fingers with slick precum that helps her match the rhythm of her hand with her hips. ) You're doing so well.
( Having left him wanting long enough, she rewards him by leaning forward, their lips colliding once more β hard and rough and desperate enough that her lips might be bruised come supper, but at the moment, she does not care. )
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It's hot and searing so much as he feels as though she might lift him out of bed with every pull. Her breathy words echoing within him long after they're swallowed up by the kiss. He returns it in kind, hard and crushing, noise trapped in his throat as he savors every moment of it. Carving out the taste of her with his tongue as the rush of auburn curls tickle the sides of his face.
The rhythm comes easy, molding his movement with her hips. An ebb and flow building between them that doesn't require too much focus as it begins to carry off on its own. Spiraling into their mutual want. The hand gripping and plying into the flesh of her thigh drags back in favor of wrapping around her waist. Holding her steady, hand splayed to reinforce her with every grind of her hips. His fingers beckoning beneath her continue at the pace she sets. Though it might beg to go faster, the pleasure mounting feels a tremendous weight looming over.
It's a simple tell when she's taken him close. Crossing a new threshold that feels it might kill him if she stops now. From the shift of his weight into the bed and the grip on her back. Lifting up into her as much as he is trying to drag himself back down. His breath searing in and out of his nose. The world around him feels impossibly tight as it all comes coiling into himself.]
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The burning fire within the depths of her stomach threatens to become an inferno and consume her as he strokes it with his own fire β the one surging through his veins, making his touch leave a blazing trail across her skin as he grips her hip to anchor her in place. Every nerve within her body is set off with each beckoning of his fingers, causing the muscles in her legs to tremble as she fights to remain on her knees as she straddles him, and she spasms against his fingers, fighting with each deep thrust.
Upon breaking the kiss, she gasps for air, the coolness of it burning as it fills her deprived lungs. Leaning forward, she rests her head against his shoulder, her forehead nestled into the crook of his neck. Her hand shifts to hold onto him, splaying across his back and shoulders as she grips him tight, fingers pressing into his skin. )
Aemond, please, ( she begs as she uses that space between them to dampen and keep it from carrying.
Within her hand, she can feel the heat and pulse of him as he gets closer to release, and she doesn't relent β wanting to push him over the edge so they can spill over into pleasure together. She strokes him faster, tightening her grip around him, letting her fingers drag along the sensitive underside before sliding down again. )
Please, ( pleading and desperation in her voice. Panting and trembling as she grips onto shoulder tighter, fighting the urge to moan as it builds within her throat, but with that one last press of his fingers, she's lost β moaning against his neck as her knees squeeze against his hips, body trembling and wracked with pleasure, her walls tight around his fingers as he rides the waves of pleasure with each jerk of her hips. )
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The delinquency of it somehow making it taste fuller, and richer on the tongue. This is what their gods have warned them about.
She writhes on top of him, and he feels the sear of regret for not being able to feel more of it. To have more than just a couple of fingers inside of her as oblivion pulls her. Her whispered begging drags him down with her if not by the long deliberate tugging of her hand.
Aemondβs body rolls with her, dragged back and forth with each undulation of her climax. Breath choked in his throat as he tenses underneath her. He comes hard, spilling and milked under her hand. His face dug into her shoulder, mouth pressed to strangle the noise she draws out from the belly of him. His teeth grazing her skin, but not yet biting.
Once sheβs stopped twitching and tumbling over his hand, it moves to rest at the top of her thigh. The tips of his fingers curling and soothing as the cool of the afternoon air begins to brush against this back. Euphoria is there, clouded satisfaction for something that felt so mounted and lingering. Not knowing it had needed release. His head turns, the top of his forehead finding the curve of her neck. A position not unlike one he has found with her before when heβd once been little. Feeling at peace, for once. For now. ]
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As he tenses beneath her, she feels the warmth of him spilling into her hand as he buries his face against her neck, trying to choke the sound of pleasure that wishes to escape him. There is a pang of regret that lances through her, acknowledging the waste of royal seed, and despite how unfulfilling it was, she misses the feeling of how full she felt having someone within her.
It is better this way, she knows, but she still lingers on the thought. The temptation and how forbidden such things are.
The sensation of his teeth against her skin is alarming, making her already pounding heart skyrocket and pound against her rib cage for fear of what masks he might leave, but she relaxes when they do not come.
After a few last idle strokes, she releases him, letting her hand fall palm up onto her thigh to keep the mess contained and off her dress, as she'll need to keep wearing it for the rest of the evening. Feeling the weight of his head against her neck and shoulder brings her comfort, a feeling she has greatly missed over the years.
With her free hand, she pulls him close; their chests flush as she rests fully in the seat of his lap as she nuzzles her cheek against the top of his head. A content sound escaping through her nose. )
You should ready for supper. We can discuss you escorting me to Oldtown to visit your brother and my cousin.
( The thought of them alone, away from the Red Keep and Kingslanding, weighs more heavily than it had earlier when they were breaking fast. It makes her stomach twist with nerves again as uncertainty begins settling in, threatening to snuff out euphoria, though she feels she already broke that spell the moment she mentioned supper and Oldtown but she's never lingered long after such an intimate encounter that she wasn't sure what to do or say. )
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Until she speaks, and he has to piece together the context of which she was speaking. Daeron and Oldtown. That was what heβd agreed to hastily at their morning meal. Both worlds seem to converge again, from the one they lived to this moment now fading between them. Aemond opens his eye, sobering.]
Of course, mother. [ His agreement is dutiful, without protest. No sign of any disappointment that he cannot remain like this for longer. No sign of the implications of what he had agreed to might affect him now.
The young prince pulls himself back from her. Briefly swept by the temptation to kiss her again, but letβs it pass as he leans back. The hand underneath her skirt retreats to let her go, both depositing on the bed to rest his weight into both of them. Looking down at himself briefly before taking one final breath. Time to forge on.] Iβll only need a moment.
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As he pulls away from her, she fights the urge to pull him back into her. The conflicting emotions are apparent in the way her brows knit together, and she bites on the inside of her bottom lip.
For a brief moment, she lingers, looking down at him β gaze traveling down his form before pulling away and standing. She walks over to the ewer and basin to wash her hands. Once dry, she smooths her hands down the skirts of her stress, putting them back into place before attempting to fix her hair; she glances over her shoulder at him before heading to the door.
Her fingers wrap around the knob, not pulling it open as her mouth opens and closes several times, fighting as she tries to find what words she wants to say, but when nothing comes out, she leaves. Closing the door behind her, her steps fading into the distance towards her chambers, she anxiously waits for time to pass until supper rolls around. She is the first to arrive in the hall wearing the same dress from earlier, though looking refreshed, and takes her usual seat, wondering who β besides her father β will join her. )
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The young prince has not had enough of these encounters to really understand how things are meant to go. He only had the experience of pillow houses, which he stopped attending long before. At some point when Aegon gave up goading him over itβ another poor example to ply experience from. For things to simply end and carry on would seem the way of things. And yet he is left cold and wanting.
It would seem his sins were not purged. As he lies waiting for dinner, replaying those last moments. Trying to discern his motherβs expression before she left. Uncertain, speechless. Hard cut to just moments before under the whisper of his name on his lips as she was crumbling. The bliss it brought fed on his thoughts in his absence. He wonders if it would feed on hers as well.
Aemond is not late for dinner, but he does express every little ounce of time left leading up before he finally gets up to wash and change into a clean pair of breeches.
Though he is not explicitly expected, he does arrive. Having encountered his grandfather in the hall upon his approach. Though Otto offers his usual soft greeting, Aemond canβt help but feel like one if Helaenaβs bugs squirming under her watchful eye. He allows the hand to enter first, hands neatly tucking behind his back as he follows after. Only sparing his mother a passing glance as he joins his usual seat at the table.]
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More thoughts to torment her restless and wakeful hours when sleep eludes her. Often leaving her to her thoughts and desperate prayers β no matter how hard she prays to the gods, she knows she will not find absolution for the sins she committed with him. But, in these hours when she is needed to be present, Alicent knows she must endure to push them to the back of her mind, but they continue to slither to the forefront. Leaving her with a need she has never experienced before as she has never wanted in such a way.
Upon hearing the door open, the queen glances up to meet her father's gaze, to whom she nods. His stature shielded the view of her son behind him until they take their separate paths to seat themselves at the table.
Seeing him again so soon after giving in to their sinful desires brings the vividness of those memories slamming into the forefront of her mind once more. His lips upon hers. The burning of his touch. The feeling of his throbbing wants in her hand. All of it there, leaving her mouth dry as she watches him with a soft flush to her cheeks as she swallows down the lump that has formed in her throat.
She catches his passing glance, offering a small, gentle smile with an upturn to the corners of her lips, but he's looked away before it manages to form on them as she is slower to smile these days, and it immediately falters. Pulling her bottom lip between her teeth, she chews on it as she slides her hands beneath the table, rubbing the nail of one thumb against the other as she forces herself to look around. )
We should give Aegon and Helaena a few minutes to see if they will join us.
( Turning to the hand, ) Do you know if β
His Grace is still unwell and will be taking supper in his chambers.
( She nods, turning to sit properly in her chair to steal another glance at Aemond. )
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A serving girl appears at his shoulder to fill his cup, drawing his attention away when her attention falls back to him. His head is not down as it was when they broke fast. Lips pressed together in a fine line to stifle an unsurprised grunt at the news that the King would not join them. Itβs more of a blessing tonight if all nights.
Aemond drinks from his cup, using it as a means to look over. Only this time he does catch his motherβs eye. Unsure exactly what to do, he holds it for what feels an impossibly long moment. Nearly draining his cup in the process. What is she thinking?
The doors jostle open as Aegon is announced through shortly followed by Helaena. The Hand makes a noise of delighted surprise that they have been graced by a nearly full table this evening.
By the jaunt in his elder brotherβs step, he has already had a fill of wine before taking seat at the table. Aemond grimaces as he swallows, setting his cup down to be immediately refilled. Back stiff as the last of trays are set at the table.]
Drinking well tonight, Brother? [ Aegon remarks across the table as Aemond lifts his second cup of wine. Annoyed as he takes a more meager sip before putting the filled cup back down. He only needs to make it through whatβ¦an hour?]
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There should be more guilt and the need for penance, but as her gaze remains locked with Aemond's, she finds herself unable to feel complete remorse for her actions or regret for him touching and sullying her.
Bringing her own glass to her lips, a gentle smile forms behind it before she takes a long pull from it. It is enough to bring a light to her eyes, making the corners of them crinkle with a delight and life that has been absent from her features for so long.
The press of the glass to her lips touches against a tender spot that has bruised from their lips hard and desperate against the others. As she sets the glass down, she brings a hand to her lips, softly tracing out the spot with the tip of a finger β all while her eyes remain on him.
That is until Aemond and Helaena are announced when the door thuds open, making Alicent's head swing towards it in a flurry of auburn curls, and her hand immediately drops from her lips to offer them both a delighted greeting of her own.
After the prayer and the food beings being passed, Alicent speaks up, )
Aemond has agreed to accompany me to Oldtown to visit your brother, Daeron, and my uncle, Ormund. It would be good if you could join us, Helaena, but I understand that the restless age that makes traveling difficult.
( Helaena nods. ) I agree, though it would be wise to take them on tour when they are older.
When the King cannot attend and in my absence, your grandfather will head the small council meetings in my stead. I believe it wise if you attend them, Aegon, to better understand how they are run and conducted.
It is a moons travel by carriage to Oldtown; therefore, we should be gone no more than three.
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And then there is Aegon, a sobering thing to look at in the moment. Looking absolutely miserable to agree to the terms of the queenβs absence. If there is nothing he hates more than trying to perform any semblance of duty. Aemondβs lips purse in annoyance, for he would have leapt at such an opportunity.
Not that the alternative seems incredibly horrible otherwise. On the contraryβ
Aemondβs head whips back to look at his mother. Three moons? Alone with her. After this?]
That is more time spent in a carriage than enjoying the destination, is it not? [ He speaks at last, turning idly the olive not yet eaten but trapped between his fingers. He speaks only to call out the redundancy that would seem obvious. Unless thatβs what she wants. All that time alone with him. Looking at her as though trying to dissect the answer from her expression alone.]
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Distracted by his thoughts and having excused himself, Aemond was not privy to the conversation Alicent had with Otto in discussing the trip to Oldtown. A discussion that happened before β well, everything that has transpired since breakfast.
It would look strange to go back on it now, especially since she told her father she would talk with her son about it during supper. There is still time to change plans, but they need to keep up appearances to not draw suspicion toward them. )
If being away for such an extended time is of concern, someone else could escort me if you prefer.
( Is there a challenge in her voice and the way her brow raises before her gaze drops to her plate, cutting off a piece of baked pear, dipping it in sugar and butter glaze before bringing it to her mouth with her fork and looking at him again? Almost questioning. Or is she giving him a way out, so he doesn't have to be trapped with her for three moons? )
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To take her, however, sounds unquestionable. For something she never took an interest in. To be clinging to his back for hours on end. Wind whipping through her hair. A few days journey at most. Far less than a moonβs but potentially twice as harrowing a journey for a queen who never ridden. Carriage would seem to be the only way.
A best passes where he holds his motherβs gaze. Finally popping the olive in his mouth while he contemplates her meaning. It would be unsporting of him to say no either way. He has no duties to uphold here other than his own interests. There would be nothing to expect of him than to accompany the Queen should she so choose. ]
No. There is no issue from me. [ Aemond answers at last, shuffling in his chair as he washes his mouth with wine. Not sounding entirely pleased or displeased, pushing through the conversation as a means to an end of them. So that his mind may remain swirling. To think be alone in her company for that long. ]
Are we to arrive for Daeronβs nameday, then? [ He asks, belatedly now putting more to the conversation he might have missed in the morning. It would mean the time left before they would need to leave. Which to say, for a moonβs journey, does not leave for much time.
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Bringing her glass to her lips, Alicent takes a long pull, nearly draining the cup before putting it down. Thankful that he's no longer toying with his food and hoping her thoughts will cease from venturing when they were. )
It is settled then; Aemond will join me in traveling to Oldtown.
( What would they do with that time alone, being forced in the close confines of a carriage for a moon? Would they pretend that nothing had happened? Ignore one another or engage in polite conversation while ignoring the mammoth in the room, or try to take advantage of the opportunity given to them?
Just the thought of such an opportunity, of being alone ( or as alone as they can be ) with little to no interruption for that long, leaves her distractingly aching once more. )
Yes, we would be arriving in time for his name day. There is enough time to prepare and get your affairs in order before our departure.
( She isn't sure how much preparation her father has made, but it sounded like this morning was the birth of the plans, so ravens still need to be exchanged and preparations on each side made. )
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I'M SORRY THIS GOT WORDY
lololol
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π
merry shitscram π
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wow 100 comments deep already π
ππlook at us go
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forever later
π Iβm on my phone so I sure hope thatβs the right html for hovertext
guess who's back, back again?
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